Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
