it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
