Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize