You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i love accidental penises.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
