im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
