i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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