its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
