Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
