WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
