Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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