It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
