I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
