4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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