i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
