Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
