You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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