We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
