so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I want to fling myself into the sun
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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