Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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