I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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