Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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