All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
