do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
