I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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