my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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