I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
