I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
