Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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