As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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