I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
