I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
