So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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