you're like a bully in the Christmas story
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
