I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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