I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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