doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
