Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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