If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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