I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
