Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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