It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
