My hand turned me down
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
