WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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