You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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