He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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