You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
