hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
