GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
