i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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