There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
