I hate all girls vehemently.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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