the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
