All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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