dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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