Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
