I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
