I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Reggie can tackle my bush.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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