This gyro tastes like lonliness
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
